by Vanessa Wang
Changing careers and job-hunting is stressful, as I'm sure everyone will agree. The right mindset is key to moving forward on this path. For me, what has worked is considering this process similar to starting my own business, and the product I'm selling is myself.
I come from a family of enterpreneurs, and have witnessed first-hand all the ups and down of being a business person. There is a lot of uncertainty, because you meet every potential client without knowing how the conversation will turn out. Even when you put your best foot forward, putting hours of research in coming up with the best proposal, there is no guarantee of the outcome. You could turn up your charm all the way, but who knows what may tick off your potential client? There are so many unknown factors, because at the end of the day, it takes a lot to close a deal. It takes a lot for someone to pull out their wallet and pay for a product. And even when there is a mutual liking and agreement, there is no guarantee until the contract is signed on both sides.
Most people in the world dislike uncertainty. Sure, we all like adventure and change, but no one enjoys last minute hiccups, deals that fall through at the eleventh hour. This happens a lot when you are starting a business, though, and it happens when you are job-hunting or establishing yourself as a freelancer, and need to find clients for yourself. It seems like you are always being blindsided by unknown last-minute changes. Deals you thought you had already sealed get cancelled.
There is a saying that life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain. I think this is the kind of mindset one needs for living with uncertainty. Whether you are establishing yourself as a real-estate agent, going into a job interview as a candidate, or talking with a potential client about a freelance job you can do for them, we can only go into these conversations with the conviction of the best possible outcomes. Only then can our enthusiasm set the atmosphere for this initial conversation and create a foundation for mutual trust and likability.
There are a lot of resources out there about building resumes, writing cover letters, and how to answer interview questions. Coaches talk about job negotiations as if they happen only after an offer has been extended, but in reality, every interaction in life is a negotiation. It happens from the moment two people make eye contact. At the end of the day, someone has to like you and trust you to want to work with you or give you their money. Yes, the quality of the product matters. Yes, whether there is a need for that product matters. But in between the lines of all of this, a lot of emotional transactions are happening--any tiny detail could break a deal.
Humans are emotional beings--as much as we talk about making interviews as objective and unbiased as possible, the reality is that evaluating another person is completely subjective. What I've come to learn is that because the entire process of building a relationship with another person is so unpredictable, it makes sense to take risks sometimes. In the past when I talked to people in professional settings, I seldom talked about my personal life, worrying that details like my being a mother would result in unconscious bias. Now, I sometimes decide that it's worth rolling the dice and not be so cautious with what I reveal about myself, if these things come up naturally in an interview conversation. I let my instincts guide me. Sure, this may result in unconscious discrimination, but the whole interview process is so random anyway, so why not take a risk sometimes? Sometimes it is through taking these types of bold risks that we form rapport.
So to summarize, this is my take: take risks to counter risks. Be bold, trust your instincts, and don't question yourself afterwards. The only things certain in life are taxes and death, and Game Theory is so complex that for most of us, trusting our guts is more than good enough.
Changing careers and job-hunting is stressful, as I'm sure everyone will agree. The right mindset is key to moving forward on this path. For me, what has worked is considering this process similar to starting my own business, and the product I'm selling is myself.
I come from a family of enterpreneurs, and have witnessed first-hand all the ups and down of being a business person. There is a lot of uncertainty, because you meet every potential client without knowing how the conversation will turn out. Even when you put your best foot forward, putting hours of research in coming up with the best proposal, there is no guarantee of the outcome. You could turn up your charm all the way, but who knows what may tick off your potential client? There are so many unknown factors, because at the end of the day, it takes a lot to close a deal. It takes a lot for someone to pull out their wallet and pay for a product. And even when there is a mutual liking and agreement, there is no guarantee until the contract is signed on both sides.
Most people in the world dislike uncertainty. Sure, we all like adventure and change, but no one enjoys last minute hiccups, deals that fall through at the eleventh hour. This happens a lot when you are starting a business, though, and it happens when you are job-hunting or establishing yourself as a freelancer, and need to find clients for yourself. It seems like you are always being blindsided by unknown last-minute changes. Deals you thought you had already sealed get cancelled.
There is a saying that life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain. I think this is the kind of mindset one needs for living with uncertainty. Whether you are establishing yourself as a real-estate agent, going into a job interview as a candidate, or talking with a potential client about a freelance job you can do for them, we can only go into these conversations with the conviction of the best possible outcomes. Only then can our enthusiasm set the atmosphere for this initial conversation and create a foundation for mutual trust and likability.
There are a lot of resources out there about building resumes, writing cover letters, and how to answer interview questions. Coaches talk about job negotiations as if they happen only after an offer has been extended, but in reality, every interaction in life is a negotiation. It happens from the moment two people make eye contact. At the end of the day, someone has to like you and trust you to want to work with you or give you their money. Yes, the quality of the product matters. Yes, whether there is a need for that product matters. But in between the lines of all of this, a lot of emotional transactions are happening--any tiny detail could break a deal.
Humans are emotional beings--as much as we talk about making interviews as objective and unbiased as possible, the reality is that evaluating another person is completely subjective. What I've come to learn is that because the entire process of building a relationship with another person is so unpredictable, it makes sense to take risks sometimes. In the past when I talked to people in professional settings, I seldom talked about my personal life, worrying that details like my being a mother would result in unconscious bias. Now, I sometimes decide that it's worth rolling the dice and not be so cautious with what I reveal about myself, if these things come up naturally in an interview conversation. I let my instincts guide me. Sure, this may result in unconscious discrimination, but the whole interview process is so random anyway, so why not take a risk sometimes? Sometimes it is through taking these types of bold risks that we form rapport.
So to summarize, this is my take: take risks to counter risks. Be bold, trust your instincts, and don't question yourself afterwards. The only things certain in life are taxes and death, and Game Theory is so complex that for most of us, trusting our guts is more than good enough.
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